Thanks, guys.
It's a weird world. One hardly knows what to do or say in it. So the things to say or do are the things that make you or those close to you happy, without hurting anyone. As far as I can tell, nothing we do really matters, except on the small interpersonal scale.
And that's the lesson. It's all there is. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because they do. Good things happen to good people, too. There's no "explanation" for it. No big meaning. No plan. It just is what it is. When something sad happens, many people look for help or comfort from many different sources. That's fine. Whatever makes them feel better and doesn't hurt anyone is a beautiful thing. But none of those sources of psychic comfort represents "The Truth." None of them are (that should actually be "None of them is...", shouldn't it?) more correct or more noble or more righteous or more universal than any others. They are all simply what works for a particular person at a particular time in a particular situation.
What we all need to do is just what people have been saying for decades:
-- pay less attention to the expectations of others
-- enjoy your relationships if they enrich your life (and jettison them if they are consistently negative)
-- don't depend too much on anyone (that doesn't mean never trust)
-- give people the benefit of the doubt (as long as there is any doubt)
-- do what makes you happy (so long as it doesn't hurt others)
-- don't be mad at the world for being the way it is (the world doesn't know or care that you are mad and is not going to change)
-- if you're unhappy with something, change it or get over it
-- eat oreos
-- don't read sappy books with sappy lists like this
All of that is, of course, unoriginal, trite. But being trite (and sappy) doesn't mean it's not true. And it doesn't hurt me to be reminded of ancient truths from time to time. Perhaps I'm just weak-minded, but I like to be reminded of things frequently.
It's weird how being just a little sad and just a little lonely makes me all of a sudden sound like a sentimental drunk. Boo hoo.... ;-)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Out, out....
I haven't been very interested in posting lately. Probably wouldn't today, either, except for an awful thing.
Was at Mockingbird Station this morning meeting up with the DRC crew for the regular Saturday morning run (13 miles down Swiss Ave, through downtown and back up the Katy trail) when Greg passed on some terrible news. There's this guy, Arshad, whom I just know from Saturday mornings. We'd spoken several times, but last week we ended up pretty much running together for most of the run. I found out a lot about him. 28 years old. Engineer at TI. About to start a new job after a promotion. New girlfriend. Excited because his parents were coming to visit him from India for the first time, so he was going to see them after about 3 years separation. Everything going great.
Yesterday his parents got in town and last night he was driving them around showing them Dallas. Drunk driver smashed them, killed him and his mother, and left his father in critical condition, 50/50 chance of living.
How does one react to that sort of thing? We all just sort of stood around for a couple of minutes shaking our heads saying how sad it is. Then we just said "Oh, well...." and started the run.
Nobody really knows him. (I guess Greg does, because he at least heard about the accident. But even he didn't know about whether there is other family or anything.) Arshad was just a guy who started showing up on Saturday mornings a few months ago. I know he was a pretty fast guy who liked to run with the slower group on Saturdays. I generally run with the faster group, but didn't last Saturday, because I wasn't feeling very good, and that's how he and I ended up "together." We started out with but went on ahead of the slower folks.
Somehow I think I should "do something." But I don't know any more details. I tried to call Greg, but I don't really even know him except from seeing him on Saturday mornings. I'm not sure there's really anything I could do. But maybe that's just an excuse. If that ever happened to me, I don't know who would do what. I know there are a few people who would be sad for a while, but then they would "turn to their affairs."
That's an oddly disconcerting feeling. If I died, people at REI and running buddies would shake their heads, comment on how sad it was, and then just go on without me. That's simply stating the obvious, of course, but the thought of the world without me in it makes me feel a little bit solemn, or something like that. I'm not sure that's the right word. Of course, the world without Patrick in it is going to happen soon enough, anyway. I'm not quite ready for that yet, though.
The thought of Arshad's father in the ICU in a strange country where he'd apparently been for less than 12 hours is really sad, though, especially as I don't know if there's anyone to sit in the waiting room for him.
I think I'll try again to call Greg.
But first I've got to shower and go to a vendor (Asics running shoes) meeting at REI at 2:00.
Was at Mockingbird Station this morning meeting up with the DRC crew for the regular Saturday morning run (13 miles down Swiss Ave, through downtown and back up the Katy trail) when Greg passed on some terrible news. There's this guy, Arshad, whom I just know from Saturday mornings. We'd spoken several times, but last week we ended up pretty much running together for most of the run. I found out a lot about him. 28 years old. Engineer at TI. About to start a new job after a promotion. New girlfriend. Excited because his parents were coming to visit him from India for the first time, so he was going to see them after about 3 years separation. Everything going great.
Yesterday his parents got in town and last night he was driving them around showing them Dallas. Drunk driver smashed them, killed him and his mother, and left his father in critical condition, 50/50 chance of living.
How does one react to that sort of thing? We all just sort of stood around for a couple of minutes shaking our heads saying how sad it is. Then we just said "Oh, well...." and started the run.
Nobody really knows him. (I guess Greg does, because he at least heard about the accident. But even he didn't know about whether there is other family or anything.) Arshad was just a guy who started showing up on Saturday mornings a few months ago. I know he was a pretty fast guy who liked to run with the slower group on Saturdays. I generally run with the faster group, but didn't last Saturday, because I wasn't feeling very good, and that's how he and I ended up "together." We started out with but went on ahead of the slower folks.
Somehow I think I should "do something." But I don't know any more details. I tried to call Greg, but I don't really even know him except from seeing him on Saturday mornings. I'm not sure there's really anything I could do. But maybe that's just an excuse. If that ever happened to me, I don't know who would do what. I know there are a few people who would be sad for a while, but then they would "turn to their affairs."
That's an oddly disconcerting feeling. If I died, people at REI and running buddies would shake their heads, comment on how sad it was, and then just go on without me. That's simply stating the obvious, of course, but the thought of the world without me in it makes me feel a little bit solemn, or something like that. I'm not sure that's the right word. Of course, the world without Patrick in it is going to happen soon enough, anyway. I'm not quite ready for that yet, though.
The thought of Arshad's father in the ICU in a strange country where he'd apparently been for less than 12 hours is really sad, though, especially as I don't know if there's anyone to sit in the waiting room for him.
I think I'll try again to call Greg.
But first I've got to shower and go to a vendor (Asics running shoes) meeting at REI at 2:00.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Oops...
I recommended some music in my last post that I'm now feeling a little iffy about. Amel Larrieux is a singer who appeared on a Pandora channel I set up. The only album I heard songs from was "Lovely Standards." It's slow quiet, jazzy standards. She comes across as a chanteuse in a Humphrey Bogart movie.
Tonight I was listening and thought about buying a CD, so I went to Amazon to hear what she's done, and it was just a little odd. The first one other than "Lovely Standards" was very different. Now, different is OK, but this was just a little too hip-hoppy for me.
Not that it matters, but if you've come to depend primarily on my recommendations in your music choices ;-) I thought I'd give you a little heads-up.
Tonight I was listening and thought about buying a CD, so I went to Amazon to hear what she's done, and it was just a little odd. The first one other than "Lovely Standards" was very different. Now, different is OK, but this was just a little too hip-hoppy for me.
Not that it matters, but if you've come to depend primarily on my recommendations in your music choices ;-) I thought I'd give you a little heads-up.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Keeping it up
Did a loop today, and felt great. That still seems odd, somehow.
It was actually an odd sort of run. Odd in that my brain was working overtime. I had more of those weird ideations that I get from time to time during a run. I think maybe I've talked about that before.
Even more, though, I was thinking about Deneen and Steve. My pals in Antarctica. Had the most fun ever just a couple of nights ago. I was sitting here at the computer when my phone rang. It was late, so naturally I assumed that it was someone -- perhaps a son -- in trouble of some sort.
The caller ID said "Private Call." Even more ominous. I answered fearing the worst. But it wasn't the worst. t was the best. It took me a few sentences to realize that I was receiving an call from Antarctica! It was Deneen! I was totally shocked.
She and Steve and some of their cohorts were sitting around playing chess....
[Don't you love Renee Fleming? A real diva. Fleming doing an Ave Maria is perhaps the greatest.]
(sorry...)
... and no doubt significantly intoxicated, so they decided to call Patrick. It was really fun talking and catching up, especially considering that it was from the freakin' South Pole! (Or if not actually at the South Pole, at least within a 3 hour flight from there.) I found out that Steve had actually made it to the pole himself, a couple of weeks after Deneen was there. That's cool. It was interesting to hear about activities and work and the weather and light and dark and cold and yoga and population and on and on.
Anyway, today while I was running I was thinking about how it's starting to get a little warm. Upper 70s seems pretty warm. I had kinda forgotten about real sweat. (Sorry if this is gross.) You always sweat when running, but when it's warm out that is compounded. But sweat is not actually the point. I was thinking about how it would be if I were in Antarctica.
Yes, that would be an adventure. I'd get a kick out of it and I have no doubt I'd survive a season and have some wonderful memorable experiences. And yet I don't know how much I'd like never having warmth. And never having any green (outside of things growing in the fridge in my room). (Just kidding.) But being able to put on the shorts and t-shirt and shoes and go out without a heavy coat and boots for a walk or run or whatever is not, I think, something I'd want to miss for too long. I'm glad we have people like Deneen and Steve who apparently actually like being there providing the support structure for science that can only be done there. I just hope they (D & S) don't find themselves on the wrong side -- the mobile side -- of a huge slab of ice that breaks off and floats away.
[Familiar with Amel Larrieux? If not, I suggest you fire her up on Pandora and give a listen. All of you more sophisticated people have probably been listening to her for a long time, but I'm a recent convert.]
On another topic, I wonder what to do with a student who tells me that his father is sick, back home in Cambodia, so he's going to have to leave on April 5 and miss the rest of the semester, which ends May 8. He says he doesn't want to drop the class, and wonders what he can do about it. Huh? You're going to miss the last month of class, several assignments and the final, and you wonder what you can do about it? I'd like to tell him what to do. But rather than really tell him what to do, I think I'll just tell him to drop.
As always, it's really late, and I have a busy day tomorrow.
Later.....
It was actually an odd sort of run. Odd in that my brain was working overtime. I had more of those weird ideations that I get from time to time during a run. I think maybe I've talked about that before.
Even more, though, I was thinking about Deneen and Steve. My pals in Antarctica. Had the most fun ever just a couple of nights ago. I was sitting here at the computer when my phone rang. It was late, so naturally I assumed that it was someone -- perhaps a son -- in trouble of some sort.
The caller ID said "Private Call." Even more ominous. I answered fearing the worst. But it wasn't the worst. t was the best. It took me a few sentences to realize that I was receiving an call from Antarctica! It was Deneen! I was totally shocked.
She and Steve and some of their cohorts were sitting around playing chess....
[Don't you love Renee Fleming? A real diva. Fleming doing an Ave Maria is perhaps the greatest.]
(sorry...)
... and no doubt significantly intoxicated, so they decided to call Patrick. It was really fun talking and catching up, especially considering that it was from the freakin' South Pole! (Or if not actually at the South Pole, at least within a 3 hour flight from there.) I found out that Steve had actually made it to the pole himself, a couple of weeks after Deneen was there. That's cool. It was interesting to hear about activities and work and the weather and light and dark and cold and yoga and population and on and on.
Anyway, today while I was running I was thinking about how it's starting to get a little warm. Upper 70s seems pretty warm. I had kinda forgotten about real sweat. (Sorry if this is gross.) You always sweat when running, but when it's warm out that is compounded. But sweat is not actually the point. I was thinking about how it would be if I were in Antarctica.
Yes, that would be an adventure. I'd get a kick out of it and I have no doubt I'd survive a season and have some wonderful memorable experiences. And yet I don't know how much I'd like never having warmth. And never having any green (outside of things growing in the fridge in my room). (Just kidding.) But being able to put on the shorts and t-shirt and shoes and go out without a heavy coat and boots for a walk or run or whatever is not, I think, something I'd want to miss for too long. I'm glad we have people like Deneen and Steve who apparently actually like being there providing the support structure for science that can only be done there. I just hope they (D & S) don't find themselves on the wrong side -- the mobile side -- of a huge slab of ice that breaks off and floats away.
[Familiar with Amel Larrieux? If not, I suggest you fire her up on Pandora and give a listen. All of you more sophisticated people have probably been listening to her for a long time, but I'm a recent convert.]
On another topic, I wonder what to do with a student who tells me that his father is sick, back home in Cambodia, so he's going to have to leave on April 5 and miss the rest of the semester, which ends May 8. He says he doesn't want to drop the class, and wonders what he can do about it. Huh? You're going to miss the last month of class, several assignments and the final, and you wonder what you can do about it? I'd like to tell him what to do. But rather than really tell him what to do, I think I'll just tell him to drop.
As always, it's really late, and I have a busy day tomorrow.
Later.....
Sunday, March 23, 2008
One interesting thing...
Actually, there has been an interesting thing in my life lately. Interesting to me.
I've been thanked about 25,000 times in the last few weeks!
You want to get thanked? Just get on the e-mail distribution list for a presidential candidate.
I've signed up for Obama, Clinton and McCain e-mail updates, just to keep up with their official spin on items of the day. It's a rare day that I don't get at least a couple of e-mails from Barack and Hillary thanking me for the hard work I've done in the past, and prospectively for the hard work I'll surely do in the future, to bring about CHANGE!! by supporting their candidacy.
Less McCain stuff, for obvious reasons, though he's definitely around.
Oh, and every Thanks! is within clicking distance of a big red Contribute! button as well, of course.
I've been thanked about 25,000 times in the last few weeks!
You want to get thanked? Just get on the e-mail distribution list for a presidential candidate.
I've signed up for Obama, Clinton and McCain e-mail updates, just to keep up with their official spin on items of the day. It's a rare day that I don't get at least a couple of e-mails from Barack and Hillary thanking me for the hard work I've done in the past, and prospectively for the hard work I'll surely do in the future, to bring about CHANGE!! by supporting their candidacy.
Less McCain stuff, for obvious reasons, though he's definitely around.
Oh, and every Thanks! is within clicking distance of a big red Contribute! button as well, of course.
Motivation
I haven't really been motivated to post here lately. I guess there's not really much I want to say. Some people have regular specific items that they post about -- like weekly photography "exhibits" and such -- but I don't have that. Except for the endless droning about how I did 9 miles Friday and 13 miles Saturday (yesterday I ended up on a new route with a faster group and "had to" go faster than I normally would, with the result that I was sore for the rest of the day, and only did 4 miles this morning, thinking I should give myself a chance to recover), but how boring is that?
I could talk about school, but there's been nothing really interesting there, either.
Perhaps the world wants to know all about my private life outside of running? I don't think so.
A blog post I read just a few days ago confirms that to me. Somehow I got on a kind of notification deal when this particular acquaintance of mine posts to her blog. I only had a couple of conversations with her about not particularly personal things, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I'm getting weekly notices when she updates her blog. Reading about how she hates her parents and what she does when she's lonely (remarkably explicit, intensely personal things that no sensible person should talk about, I'm sure, especially if her professional contacts read this blog, as I have reason to suspect they do) really do not interest me. They actually kind of disgust me. Perhaps that's a sign of how out of touch I am with popular culture. Her "Reality Blog" would, I'll bet, be just the ticket for a "reality TV" show. And that would interest me -- disgust me -- to at least the same extent. Sometimes I sincerely fear for the future of our culture. The wacky egocentrism (The spell-checker is underlining that word, but I'm going to leave it. It is right, right?) of our confessional society has got to be a symptom of some sort of systemic social disease that seems like it **must** be eating away at whatever "strength" we have as a society.
I haven't given that notion any thought at all. It just came out of my fingers. But it reflects the anomie that I believe I see and feel right now.
Anyway, if I can think of anything interesting or useful to say, I'll post again. I suppose I've publicly -- publicly as in this blog, though "the public" don't read it -- struggled with this before. Perhaps it's a sign of age that I really have a hard time remembering what I've talked about previously. This is one of those things I'm sure has come up before, though. Sorry....
Happy Easter, everyone, for anyone out there who ascribes meaning to the day. I'm going to Chad's house for dinner tonight (personal details!!) so that should be fun. Gumbo.
I could talk about school, but there's been nothing really interesting there, either.
Perhaps the world wants to know all about my private life outside of running? I don't think so.
A blog post I read just a few days ago confirms that to me. Somehow I got on a kind of notification deal when this particular acquaintance of mine posts to her blog. I only had a couple of conversations with her about not particularly personal things, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I'm getting weekly notices when she updates her blog. Reading about how she hates her parents and what she does when she's lonely (remarkably explicit, intensely personal things that no sensible person should talk about, I'm sure, especially if her professional contacts read this blog, as I have reason to suspect they do) really do not interest me. They actually kind of disgust me. Perhaps that's a sign of how out of touch I am with popular culture. Her "Reality Blog" would, I'll bet, be just the ticket for a "reality TV" show. And that would interest me -- disgust me -- to at least the same extent. Sometimes I sincerely fear for the future of our culture. The wacky egocentrism (The spell-checker is underlining that word, but I'm going to leave it. It is right, right?) of our confessional society has got to be a symptom of some sort of systemic social disease that seems like it **must** be eating away at whatever "strength" we have as a society.
I haven't given that notion any thought at all. It just came out of my fingers. But it reflects the anomie that I believe I see and feel right now.
Anyway, if I can think of anything interesting or useful to say, I'll post again. I suppose I've publicly -- publicly as in this blog, though "the public" don't read it -- struggled with this before. Perhaps it's a sign of age that I really have a hard time remembering what I've talked about previously. This is one of those things I'm sure has come up before, though. Sorry....
Happy Easter, everyone, for anyone out there who ascribes meaning to the day. I'm going to Chad's house for dinner tonight (personal details!!) so that should be fun. Gumbo.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Three days off (from running)
It's too much. I miss it. And I worry that if I take very much time off I'll lose something. But tomorrow is a new day. After my classes tomorrow, I'm off until I have to go to REI for a clinic at 9:00 p.m.
(Seems a shame to have to go in for just an hour. I wouldn't do it except that it's a Garmin clinic, and I need some education.)
But I'll get in a long run in the afternoon. The rain is supposed to have stopped by then. Maybe I'll do a ride and run combo, as I like to do. We'll see how the time goes.
I've been thinking about memorializing (Now that I'm about to say this out loud it sounds kind of stupid. Oh, well....) the anniversary of my first run -- April 18 -- with something special. Today I even arranged to have the 18th off. I was actually thinking since I was not able to schedule a marathon this Spring I'd do a personal private marathon. Maybe even get really extreme and do a century on the bike and a marathon. That sounds kind of crazy. I don't think I'll really do it though. Just a wild hair thought.
On another topic.... Todd, the Dallas REI store manager, just got back from a week-long Leadership Conference, and in our first conversation he used the word "learnings." As in "In today's session you'll have 4 learnings." I almost choked him. When I went to Seattle last year for a week of training for my SPE position, the people in charge kept saying that word. It drove me nuts. So much so that at the end of the week when they asked for our comments on the week's experience, my only comment was "'Learnings' is not a word!" Apparently, though, "learnings" is all the rage among the training cognoscenti at REI corporate.
When I yelled at Todd about it, he first denied having used the word that way, but when I repeated his words back to him he relented. He then went away as he does (and as I frequently do when I experience an unanswered question) and googled it. He came back laughing with a printout and said the first hit he got was: http://blog.jeffreymcmanus.com/?s=learnings. Great blog post and great comments. Something that an English professor might be interested in. ;-)
Oh, it's late again. I always say that, don't I? But it's true!
Till next time....
(Seems a shame to have to go in for just an hour. I wouldn't do it except that it's a Garmin clinic, and I need some education.)
But I'll get in a long run in the afternoon. The rain is supposed to have stopped by then. Maybe I'll do a ride and run combo, as I like to do. We'll see how the time goes.
I've been thinking about memorializing (Now that I'm about to say this out loud it sounds kind of stupid. Oh, well....) the anniversary of my first run -- April 18 -- with something special. Today I even arranged to have the 18th off. I was actually thinking since I was not able to schedule a marathon this Spring I'd do a personal private marathon. Maybe even get really extreme and do a century on the bike and a marathon. That sounds kind of crazy. I don't think I'll really do it though. Just a wild hair thought.
On another topic.... Todd, the Dallas REI store manager, just got back from a week-long Leadership Conference, and in our first conversation he used the word "learnings." As in "In today's session you'll have 4 learnings." I almost choked him. When I went to Seattle last year for a week of training for my SPE position, the people in charge kept saying that word. It drove me nuts. So much so that at the end of the week when they asked for our comments on the week's experience, my only comment was "'Learnings' is not a word!" Apparently, though, "learnings" is all the rage among the training cognoscenti at REI corporate.
When I yelled at Todd about it, he first denied having used the word that way, but when I repeated his words back to him he relented. He then went away as he does (and as I frequently do when I experience an unanswered question) and googled it. He came back laughing with a printout and said the first hit he got was: http://blog.jeffreymcmanus.com/?s=learnings. Great blog post and great comments. Something that an English professor might be interested in. ;-)
Oh, it's late again. I always say that, don't I? But it's true!
Till next time....
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