Done!

I finished. And I finished in a good time. 4:14:35 (The original e-mail I got said 4:14:34, but I'll give them that second). It was amazing. Incredibly difficult. Made so in part because of my determination to have a good time. Also in part because it was 26.2 miles, of course, and that's a pretty long way to run. The whole experience was awesome. The crowd at the start. The cheering spectators. The hundreds of volunteers at water stops. The runners. The physical sensations along the way. The mental gymnastics associated with staying focused on what you're doing. Trying to stay hydrated and fueled while running. Trying to remember to try to remember what was going on so that I can go back and enjoy it in memory.

One of the most important elements of the day was my having hooked up with a Clif Bar Pace Group. Clif Bar sells energy bars and gels and drinks. I've both eaten and sold (at REI) a ton of the stuff. They have a program through which they send experienced marathoners to selected races to lead pace groups. At the start, in the crowd of thousands of people, one could see groups of balloons beside signs declaring different finishing times: 3:15, 3:30, 3:45, etc. After a lot of thought, I got with the 4:15 group, led by Star (her name is Starshine Blackford). That was probably the best decision I made in the whole marathon experience, other than training for it in the first place. Only because of her was I able to maintain a consistent pace and finish when I did. She provided encouragement, information, distraction, consistency, motivation, and did it all while running a marathon carrying a stick with 4 big balloons on top of it the whole way.

One example: a regular REI customer who ran the marathon and with whom I had compared notes while training was sure he'd finish faster than me. Based on what he said his training times were, I was sure he would as well. But he didn't get with a pace group and went out way too fast. (It's INCREDIBLY hard to hold the pace down at the beginning. I've said in this blog before that I seemed for some reason physically incapable of running slowly on my own.) For the first 5 miles, David was way ahead of me. He slowed a little in the second segment, but at the half he was still a good ways ahead of me. But he caved in, because he started too fast, and ultimately finished over a half hour behind me. I'm pretty confident (assuming he was accurately reporting training times) that if he'd gotten with the 4:00 pace group he would have finished with them. It's so important to pace appropriately.

Star was running her... wait for it... 96th marathon! 96. That's a lot. It's not that impressive, necessarily, I suppose. It's just what she does. Lots of people do a lot of whatever they do. I have friends who have been published a lot in newspapers. What it does mean, though, is that she has learned how to maintain a pace to finish at a specified time. Several times at the beginning I was just aching to GO! I wanted to go so much faster. Once I got a bit out front and I heard her voice behind me saying "Anyone in the 4:15 group who's hearing my voice from behind you, you need to look out, because if you stay out there I'll pass you later." And she was right. I can look at the (incredibly high tech) results online and see how consistent my pace was. And I can see how David crashed and burned by watching his pace decrease over time. It's fascinating.

Anyway, when I got home after the race, I sat down and typed a thank you to Clif Bar for providing the pacers. I'm cutting and pasting it in here for posterity.

Dear Clif Bar Pace Leaders:

I couldn’t let any time go by before letting you know how tremendously important Star was to me today. My first marathon. 50 years old and literally just did my first “distance” (actually about ½ mile) run of my life on April 18 of this year, 2 days after my 50th birthday.

I trained hard, but essentially alone, using a conglomeration of training plans downloaded from the internet. I lost 35 pounds and feel like I’m in shape for the first time in my life – certainly at least since high school, where I was a pretty good athlete, but playing football and basketball and throwing the shot put and discus do not prepare one for distance running, even if they hadn’t been over 30 years ago. I’m working two full-time jobs (teaching college government and as a salesperson at REI) and the bulk of my training miles were put in between 10:00 and 11:00 or 11:30 at night, after teaching in the morning and working a shift at REI. (That’s my personal sob story. I’m sure most people out there have their own stories to tell – some much more compelling than that they had to work hard to train for a marathon. Duh.)

I struggled over what pace group to get with. When I originally saw your program and e-mailed you ( a few months ago) I predicted a 5 hour finish. By today I was pretty sure I could go faster than that, but I didn’t know how much faster. It wasn’t till this morning before the race that I decided which group to join. Yesterday, standing there at the counter at the consumer expo I grabbed the 4:15 and 4:30 wrist straps. This morning I finally decided that I would attempt the 4:15 pace group, thinking that if I couldn’t hold on I’d just drop back and still have a respectable finish.

I can’t tell you how glad I am of that decision. Star was magnificent. Although I was pretty focused and not as responsive during the race as I might have been, Star’s upbeat, almost constant talk was entertaining and very informative, and probably just as important, distracting. While listening to the “Mean Guy” story I was able to forget how sore my legs were getting.

I kind of yo-yo’d off the back of the group, because I walked fairly slowly through the water stops and had to keep putting in pretty strong efforts to catch back on. My potty stop was particularly hard to recover from. But I could see those balloons bouncing in the distance, and perhaps it was the old competitive instincts activating, but I managed to chase her down every time. Certainly one reason I worked so hard to get back with the group was that from the beginning Star reinforced (without ever saying it explicitly that I remember) my commitment to finishing in my goal time. Maybe it's silly, but I think I just didn't want to disappoint her.

At the very end of the race Star was especially critical. She reminded all of us why we were there – personal reasons, and because of those who’d supported us in training, and reminding us of the child beneficiaries of the event – and challenged everyone to give it their best shot – one mile at a time. By that time my legs were in pretty bad shape, and I started to cramp at about mile 24, just after the last water stop. That slowed me down even more, and I lost more time to Star than I had previously. But for whatever combination of reasons I was determined to catch those damn balloons. It was unquestionably the hardest physical thing I’ve ever done in my life, but by the finish I was just about 20 feet behind Star’s balloons, and finished in 4:14:34.

Without Star I unquestionably would not have finished in under 4:15. Would that have been the end of the world? No. I was prepared to think – sincerely – that just finishing would have been a real accomplishment for me. Still, managing to finish when and how I did feel hugely important. Star is not the only reason I had a great day. I worked damned long and hard to get there. But I realize that without her there, I would not have had the experience I had. Was it “fun?” Not really. Was it a great experience I am truly grateful to have had? Absolutely. And Star was an important part of it. I managed to give her a pretty emotional hug in the finishing chute, but I hope you’ll pass along my thanks to her and to whoever is responsible for getting her there. Y’all are the greatest! ;-)

Patrick Moore


OK. I know this post is getting pretty long. Just one more thing to say. Probably the most important part of the value of this marathon to me was what happened after the 24 mile water station. I was pretty far behind Star. I'd already run farther and faster than ever before in my life, by a wide margin. I almost just threw it in and said "OK. I'm done. I'll finish, but I'll slow it way down and finish a little more comfortably." Instead, though, I decided I HAD to chase Star down. I guess it seems melodramatic to talk too much about how I somehow think I wouldn't have been faithful to myself and the incredibly hard work I did over 8 months to just basically give up at the end. But that's how I felt. And it's how I feel now. Lots of people have similar experiences in many types of (non-marathon) situations, I'm sure. But it feels so valuable to persist. Not to give up or give in. It's a learning experience that's still important to an old guy. I can't express adequately how glad I am that I did this. I haven't felt this good about myself in a long time, if ever.

Sorry this went on so long.

Later....