What matters

Thanks, guys.

It's a weird world. One hardly knows what to do or say in it. So the things to say or do are the things that make you or those close to you happy, without hurting anyone. As far as I can tell, nothing we do really matters, except on the small interpersonal scale.

And that's the lesson. It's all there is. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because they do. Good things happen to good people, too. There's no "explanation" for it. No big meaning. No plan. It just is what it is. When something sad happens, many people look for help or comfort from many different sources. That's fine. Whatever makes them feel better and doesn't hurt anyone is a beautiful thing. But none of those sources of psychic comfort represents "The Truth." None of them are (that should actually be "None of them is...", shouldn't it?) more correct or more noble or more righteous or more universal than any others. They are all simply what works for a particular person at a particular time in a particular situation.

What we all need to do is just what people have been saying for decades:
-- pay less attention to the expectations of others
-- enjoy your relationships if they enrich your life (and jettison them if they are consistently negative)
-- don't depend too much on anyone (that doesn't mean never trust)
-- give people the benefit of the doubt (as long as there is any doubt)
-- do what makes you happy (so long as it doesn't hurt others)
-- don't be mad at the world for being the way it is (the world doesn't know or care that you are mad and is not going to change)
-- if you're unhappy with something, change it or get over it
-- eat oreos
-- don't read sappy books with sappy lists like this

All of that is, of course, unoriginal, trite. But being trite (and sappy) doesn't mean it's not true. And it doesn't hurt me to be reminded of ancient truths from time to time. Perhaps I'm just weak-minded, but I like to be reminded of things frequently.

It's weird how being just a little sad and just a little lonely makes me all of a sudden sound like a sentimental drunk. Boo hoo.... ;-)

Out, out....

I haven't been very interested in posting lately. Probably wouldn't today, either, except for an awful thing.

Was at Mockingbird Station this morning meeting up with the DRC crew for the regular Saturday morning run (13 miles down Swiss Ave, through downtown and back up the Katy trail) when Greg passed on some terrible news. There's this guy, Arshad, whom I just know from Saturday mornings. We'd spoken several times, but last week we ended up pretty much running together for most of the run. I found out a lot about him. 28 years old. Engineer at TI. About to start a new job after a promotion. New girlfriend. Excited because his parents were coming to visit him from India for the first time, so he was going to see them after about 3 years separation. Everything going great.

Yesterday his parents got in town and last night he was driving them around showing them Dallas. Drunk driver smashed them, killed him and his mother, and left his father in critical condition, 50/50 chance of living.

How does one react to that sort of thing? We all just sort of stood around for a couple of minutes shaking our heads saying how sad it is. Then we just said "Oh, well...." and started the run.

Nobody really knows him. (I guess Greg does, because he at least heard about the accident. But even he didn't know about whether there is other family or anything.) Arshad was just a guy who started showing up on Saturday mornings a few months ago. I know he was a pretty fast guy who liked to run with the slower group on Saturdays. I generally run with the faster group, but didn't last Saturday, because I wasn't feeling very good, and that's how he and I ended up "together." We started out with but went on ahead of the slower folks.

Somehow I think I should "do something." But I don't know any more details. I tried to call Greg, but I don't really even know him except from seeing him on Saturday mornings. I'm not sure there's really anything I could do. But maybe that's just an excuse. If that ever happened to me, I don't know who would do what. I know there are a few people who would be sad for a while, but then they would "turn to their affairs."

That's an oddly disconcerting feeling. If I died, people at REI and running buddies would shake their heads, comment on how sad it was, and then just go on without me. That's simply stating the obvious, of course, but the thought of the world without me in it makes me feel a little bit solemn, or something like that. I'm not sure that's the right word. Of course, the world without Patrick in it is going to happen soon enough, anyway. I'm not quite ready for that yet, though.

The thought of Arshad's father in the ICU in a strange country where he'd apparently been for less than 12 hours is really sad, though, especially as I don't know if there's anyone to sit in the waiting room for him.

I think I'll try again to call Greg.

But first I've got to shower and go to a vendor (Asics running shoes) meeting at REI at 2:00.

Oops...

I recommended some music in my last post that I'm now feeling a little iffy about. Amel Larrieux is a singer who appeared on a Pandora channel I set up. The only album I heard songs from was "Lovely Standards." It's slow quiet, jazzy standards. She comes across as a chanteuse in a Humphrey Bogart movie.

Tonight I was listening and thought about buying a CD, so I went to Amazon to hear what she's done, and it was just a little odd. The first one other than "Lovely Standards" was very different. Now, different is OK, but this was just a little too hip-hoppy for me.

Not that it matters, but if you've come to depend primarily on my recommendations in your music choices ;-) I thought I'd give you a little heads-up.